January of 2015 was not a terrible month, but it wasn’t a great month either. I spent a few days with my grandparents in Florida, but a week after my great grandmother died. I had the chance to go to the March for Life in Washington, D.C., but I knew no one else who was going. I almost had a panic attack thinking about it. I also lost my first “love”, at least what I thought was love at the time. Looking back, it was unhealthy, immature and frankly stupid. I think that was a blessing in disguise.
February of 2015 was incredible. I went to a catholic youth conference (and I’ll be going to the same one this year) with one of my best friends, Daisy. It opened my eyes to a lot of things, and even though I can’t even think of Catholicism without feeling confused and sort of sick, I can’t wait to go again. The environment is so welcoming and I know I’ll be renewed and reminded of things that I’ve forgotten.
March 2015, as far as I remember was the month in which I won first place in a dance competition. I can’t say I was very proud because people complained I was too excited about winning (apparently fist-pumping is unacceptable bragging). Other than that, the month was uneventful and not bad. I focused mostly on academics.
April was fun, and I think the highlight was spending another few days with my grandparents. We got to meet their new dog, who’s a big sweetheart though she is very timid.
May was busy. I had my dance recital, and my sister’s soccer team won the state championship. There were mostly a lot of rehearsals and practices going on. At the end of the month I had Emickolo over, and that’s when I learned just how incredible she is. She was a big part of 2015 for me and helped shape me into the person I am today.
June was even busier. My brother’s graduation, then vacation in D.C. After that, two weeks of theatre camp during which I won Spirit Award (which is a big accomplishment and really boosted my self-esteem). Then I took a trip to New York with my dad’s family.
July started with Steubenville Atlanta, which was quite possibly the best weekend of my life. There were lots of tears and I created strong bonds with some friends. I also made a very important apology and started my way towards treating others with respect.
August started with getting a puppy. He is quite possibly the cutest thing and has started to learn that he doesn’t need to bite us every time we touch him. I had Emickolo over again and we went shopping, wading, and so many other things.
September we went on a beach vacation, which was so relaxing and incredible. I saw beautiful sunrises and sunsets, built castles, got a tan, almost passed out, and watched all eight Harry Potter movies. Then we focused on school for the rest of the month.
October was when I really made an effort to treat others better. Unfortunately, I focused so much on others that I forgot about myself. I have been way too hard on myself for little mistakes. October was also when I decided I won’t be taking pointe this coming fall. I guess this was a month of decisions.
November was difficult because I started to have a lot of internal battles about my faith and my friends and even myself. I tried to make an effort to decide which friends of mine are worth keeping. I had to think about my Catholic faith and take sides. I fell behind in school but a plus is that I held a baby for the first time, which made me sure I’m supposed to be a mother.
December was also insane. I had recitals and field trips and epiphanies. I finally told someone about a problem I had been internalizing for weeks. A good friend of mine helped me discover that I like talking about my future more than my feelings. I felt hurt in a lot of ways but today I have let them go. Christmas was good to me (I got a onesie which was number one on my list). Last night I danced until my back hurt and sang until I couldn’t talk.
2015 was definitely a good year, with lots of memories and discoveries. Hopefully there will be more memories and more successes in the year to come!